I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I deserve this hangover.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
