I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
