I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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