If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
