Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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