i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
