sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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