i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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