when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
third nipple confirmed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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