He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
