I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
