Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
