singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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