What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
