her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
