false alarm. still invincible.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
