I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
