Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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