I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
