dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
