i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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