yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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