She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
