He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
