then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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