You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
