I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
