You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize