Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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