I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
