She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
