Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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