I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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