I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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