I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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