I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
