sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
