Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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