You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
