My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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