what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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