He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
