Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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