Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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