I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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