ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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