i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
