I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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