I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.