Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
