your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
