what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
