my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
