can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
