she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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