Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
