so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
