I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
