I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
