After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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