he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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