I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Buhtt sex?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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