I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
