Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
