Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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