you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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