Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
