also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize