You really coming over, don't trick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
